From Fear to Freedom – learn how to break free from fear to discover your wings and learn to fly!
From Fear to Freedom – Let’s Break old Habits
Have you experienced fear in your life that has held you back from truly going after your dreams? Is there a recurring fear that keeps arising in your thoughts and emotions? Do you know that it is possible to learn how to manage your fears in a way that benefits you? Well, get ready to learn how to spread your wings and begin to fly and feel the exhilaration of a life of freedom from fear.
In our Triumphant Life of Abundance Series, we teach you proven tools to help you improve your life and begin living with greater energy and confidence. In our previous articles and videos, we discuss how to become aware of hidden beliefs and patterns that hold you back and how to create new ones that dramatically support you in achieving a more vibrant and fulfilling life.
A deeper area, however, that often arises when someone begins to pursue his or her goals and dreams, is FEAR. Fear is a common emotion based on a set of thoughts that often will stop us in our tracks from accomplishing all that we wish for. In this article, along with our video on the subject, we are going to teach you how to use fear to fuel progress rather than frighten you.
Is there a time in your life when fear stopped you from moving forward with something that would have been beneficial? What didn’t you pursue in the past due to fear, such as a relationship or a business? Or, have you noticed how you used to be more fearless but as you get older, fears have arisen or have gotten stronger?
As Deepak Chopra once said, “you must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible”.
How do we do that? Let’s first dissect some definitions of fear. When you Google the word fear, here is what you get:
Fear – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or is a threat.
It is an emotion based on a belief – not necessarily on the truth. Another definition from John Assaraf is:
“emotion of fear is an automatic response that is based on a real or perceived threat.”
John points out here that the response is automatic (and immediate) but may be based on a perceived instead of real threat. Both create the same response in your body, whether it is real or perceived, which we address in this article.
And finally, from Psychology Today, we get:
fear is: An anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or experience.
You see that fear is simply a thought, belief or a perception, which means it may not be real. Yes, fear is an important response to real physical or emotional danger to protect us from harm. Often, however, irrational fear holds us back from making positive progress in our lives.
It is fascinating to note that the chemical reactions in our body are exactly the same whether the fear is truly protecting us from harm or it is imagined. This is why I like to categorize fear as REAL or FAKE. It reminds me of all of the talk in the media about fake news. Just like you need to assess if something you read on the Internet is real and based on fact, you need to do the same thing with your thoughts of fear. You need to learn how to separate real danger from just an irrational thought or emotion because when fear increases, motivation decreases. And, it is the fear of failure that stops many people from taking positive action.
What do people fear the most? I reviewed two polls taken in the US to see what people tend to fear. The first one is a Gallop Poll taken in 2005 of young adults, which listed:
Terrorist attacks, spiders, death, failure, war, violence, being alone, the future and nuclear war
as the top issues. Another is a review written by Bill Tancer in 2008 of fear phrases that were searched for the most online which were:
Flying, heights, clowns, intimacy, death, rejection, people, snakes, failure and driving.
It’s interesting and somewhat humorous that spiders and intimacy came before death in the above lists!! Sometimes, you simply have to shake your head when you stand back and realize the things that frighten us.
Fear is basically the concern that something will cause us pain that is either emotional or physical. Physical harm includes death or injury. Emotional harm consists of thoughts such as rejection, loneliness, failure, being judged or ridiculed or simply that something will be too difficult or you may not get the outcome that you want.
What triggers fear? I see fear triggers in terms of three areas:
- Negative Past Experiences – For example, if you broke your leg skiing in the past, you may be afraid to ski again in the future.
- Negative Beliefs – For example, you simply believe that you are a horrible skier.
- Negative Imaginations – For example, you saw someone on TV suffer from a bad skiing accident and so your imagination creates a similar scenario for you, even if you never skied before.
Negative beliefs, as we covered in previous articles and videos, are untrue beliefs that we are not enough. These create thoughts of low self worth and low confidence. We respond to fear with a fight response (high stress and cortisol levels), flight response (we run and hide), or a freeze response (we do nothing). Once we understand fear more deeply, it helps us to begin to manage our response to fear or even possibly resolve emotional fears that hold us back.
HOW TO RESOLVE FEAR:
Imagine that you are sitting by the lake fishing. The pole and line are sitting poised waiting to catch a fish. You are sitting in a relaxed manner enjoying the peaceful day when suddenly, your pole begins to shake because you caught a fish! Think of this now as an analogy where the fish represents a fear.
So the first thing you do is identify the fact that you caught a fear.
- IDENTIFY THE FEAR
Recognize it for what it is, a fear. Take note that a fear has arisen in your thoughts and emotions. Knowing that it is fear speaking is the first key step to managing the fear.
- UNDERSTAND THE FEAR
Now look at this fear and see where it is coming from. When you begin to realize that fear is simply a thought that provides you with information, either information about something that is keeping us safe from physical harm or is acting as an irrational stumbling block, then we can begin to live our lives with greater clarity, courage and joy. If you understand that fear is simply a thought, and you know that thoughts can be changed, you can begin to change the fear into something different that is far less scary.
As Deepak Chopra said, “if you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.”
- LIVE HEALTHFULLY
Being rested and healthy is a key factor in your ability to deal with and manage stress and fear. How can you deal with fears that arise effectively if you are exhausted and living on sugar and caffeine or processed junk food? How can you feel high energy if you are not moving your body, getting exercise and breathing fresh air? When you are feeling strong and healthy, you feel more positive and as if you can conquer the world. To live healthfully, you need to get plenty of sleep, be well hydrated, get good exercise to energize you and to clear your mind, and include deep breathing. If you need to be inspired with great ideas to teach you how to be healthy, then peruse all of the incredible information at www.sanaview.com.
Following the basics of healthy living enables your body to be in a constant mode of detoxification. This is critical in relation to fear because we tend to hold toxic emotions in the cells of our fat and muscle. Did you ever notice that when you experience fear you feel butterflies in your stomach? Well, this is an actual physical response to negative emotions. When you feel fear or stress, chemicals and emotions are released in the intestines, which triggers the brain to release cortisol, adrenalin and epinephrine and are delivered to every cell of the body. These chemicals are stored in our cells and create repetitive emotional patterns.
Did you ever know someone going through a detox regimen report that old emotions were coming up (and hopefully out)? This is exactly what is happening. Our fat cells also store environmental toxins, which is why detoxification is key for good health. Now I do not recommend that someone leap from burgers and fries onto a crazy fast or detox. You need to do it correctly so be sure to visit www.sanaview.com for information and to contact me directly to obtain professional advice.
It is fascinating how fear actually can hold someone back from making healthy choices. For example, I have a client who was resisting making healthy changes because she feared that she would lose control and freedom to make the unhealthy choices she was making currently. When she began to realize through working with me that she had far more control and freedom when she began experiencing greater levels of energy, health and vitality, that fear diminished. It was the fear all along that was holding her back from making good choices. There is no freedom when you are sitting on the couch, overweight with a lack of energy and confidence to enjoy your day. There is no freedom when you are tied to medications to get through each day. Health is freedom, both physically and emotionally.
- BE HEART BASED VS MIND BASED
Fear is trying to protect you in some way. There is great benefit to this so be kind to fear and learn to love the fear for what it is showing you and teaching you about yourself. The heart expresses love and compassion where the mind tends to feel more anger and negativity. Try to take these feelings from your mind to your heart, and watch everything soften.
- FOCUS ON THE GAIN INSTEAD OF THE LOSS
As we teach in our High Performance Coaching™ sessions, certified by Brendon Burchard, fear comes from a feeling of pain. There are three types of pain that we experience. The first is Loss Pain where we are afraid if we do something we will lose something. We are afraid that if we quit our job to start our own business, that we will lose our steady income and benefits. The second is Process Pain, where we believe that it will be too hard to go after our goals. And finally, the third is Outcome Pain, where we worry that we may go through all of this effort to try to accomplish something, like lose weight or be healthy, and we won’t get the results we want. All of these types of perceived pain stop people from moving forward and doing something extraordinary in their lives.
The way to resolve these is to begin to focus on what you will gain, versus what you will lose. We put so much emphasis on the loss instead of all that we will gain. Consider someone who is afraid to fly. They think of all that could go wrong versus all that could be so amazing and right. Think about all of the incredible places they get to visit and all of the wonderful people and food and cultures they will get to experience with their family. Again, we are asking you to consider choosing different thoughts and beliefs that support you as opposed to hold you back.
Your brain focuses on what you are focusing on and it gives that thing energy and power. If you are fighting cancer, it is far different than bringing in wellness. What fears do you have? What would you gain by overcoming that fear? Make a list and focus on that list. This is where you will find strength instead of be weakened by irrational thoughts.
- MAKE THE PROCESS FUN
If you feel the process will be too hard, then make the process fun. If you feel it is too hard to begin to eat healthy, then get friends together to try some new recipes. Make the process like a game or create enjoyment around it instead of struggle. Learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Fear is not necessarily going to go away, but if you learn to enjoy the process, it minimizes the fear and empowers you to achieve success.
Often we feel fear because something is new to us and we don’t yet have enough experience with it to be confident. So, just like a baby eagle that is getting ready to learn how to fly, they flap their wings and walk around until they feel enough courage to make the leap. What can you do to gain some competence so that you can gain confidence? Don’t wait forever to be perfect at something to begin but do try to minimize your fear so that you are more comfortable moving forward.
I am not a believer in the concept of jumping forward while gripped with fear. Some say to feel the fear and do it anyway, but I disagree, to a point. I want to suggest that you come more into alignment with understanding the fear and where it is coming from and do the steps to soften the fear first. Then, as you come into positive alignment with your goals, you have a better chance of success.
- DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME
Do move forward with the end goal in mind and keep your focus on success, but by detaching from the outcome, you release the grip that fear may have on you that is stopping you from proceeding. Just because you do not know the outcome does not mean that you do not begin. All we can do is have our goals and work toward them by being as smart and upbeat as possible.
Sometimes, however, things may happen that may impact our plans. Everyone experiences challenges. By knowing that anything that you may lose can be gotten again, is very liberating. If you lose some money just make adjustments or do something else and make more money again. Love, health, pride etc.. can all be gotten again. Watch Sherina’s video (lung cancer client) on our YouTube channel about how she was able to regain her health again after fighting lung cancer by eating and living well. She got off track and her illness began to re-occur. By simply doing what she knew to do again, she resolved her health challenge once and for all. We actually learn a great deal from any failure and this new knowledge through experience becomes a stepping-stone to success. As Brendon Burchard says, “march forward in joy and faith.”
Be willing to move forward with the acceptance and understanding that there still may be some fear. Even the most famous and accomplished public speakers still feel some fear before going out on stage. If you’ve done all that you can to get as comfortable as possible, accept that some fearful emotions may still be there. Be willing to do something even if you still have some concerns. The positive emotions should outweigh the negative though. Again, do not move forward with gripping fear. Have positive intentions and all will be fine.
Back to the fishing analogy, you have caught this fish/fear, you’ve looked at it, analyzed it, learned something valuable about it, and now you are ready to throw it back into the water. Write your fears out on paper to get them out of your head and then throw the paper away, flush it down the toilet or burn the paper and watch your fears dissipate. As you’ve gained an understanding about the fear and are now somewhat comfortable, release it out into the world because it no longer serves you.
- GIVE THANKS
These fears are there to protect you so be thankful for them and watch them begin to fade away. You are wiser now and know which fears are real and which are fake or irrational. You know now how to address them logically and in a more positive manner. Now write all that you are grateful for and watch your energy and confidence begin to shine. Think about all that makes you happy because a positive outlook insures a positive outcome.
You are ready to move forward with confidence and joy in achieving the life of your dreams. Know that you deserve to have all that you want in life and that the beliefs, patterns and fears that have held you back in the past are no longer a concern. As Marianne Williamson once wrote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. “
IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO NOW DISCOVER YOUR WINGS AND START TO FLY!
SanaView is an organization whose mission is to inspire and teach easy, effective and enjoyable ways to Embrace a Better Life; a life that is happier, healthier and more fulfilling. Janet McKee, founder of SanaView, is one of the most vibrant, inspirational and motivational speakers of our time. She is known for captivating her audience through the use of real-life stories and anecdotal accounts that draw people in, entertain them, uplift and empower them with real solutions that they can begin to use to improve their lives immediately.
To Learn more about Janet’s High Performance Coaching™ Program, visit:
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